Posted on August 21, 2011
“Spilling eyes and red painted cheeks. Plastered smiles and never ending sighs.” I did keep at it like a ragged doll until I had the spark in my eyes until it died out once again. I lost my faith, my stand, and my dignity. Wandering aimlessly as if a corpse bored with its own funeral, a cadaver waiting to be reanimated.
The smiles and the heartaches that you gave and took away were forgotten once I was swept into a blackhole but now, I seem to crave for it. Trying to catch any whisp of memory in the air that I breathe but I’m afraid most of the memories have been erased.
But it’s there. I can still feel my heart beat as it feels its presence. I can still feel a smile forming across my face whenever I feel I am getting near enough to describe how I felt. It’s too bright enough to blind us. Too beautiful to describe.
It’s always been clear that you and I weren’t meant to be. But the memories are far too precious and strong to forget. The emotion has gone but the recesses of the memory remain and I can’t help but smile with the wonder it gives. The spark, please let it come back. The vigor and the strength of my heart, let it overflow.
Here I am, still waiting for that magic to come right back in my life and I can’t help but feel the urge to say thank you to both of you. I have loved you both with all my heart and because of that love, I wanted to become a better person. Because of that love, I wrote wonderful poems and vignettes. Because of that love, I never failed to hope. And because of that love, I am grateful for having met both of you.
So to Ian and Liam Danes, thank you. Thank you for the inspiration and the wonderful memories. I hope that one of these days I would finally be able to come out of my shell once again and be brave enough to open my heart for another.
Always know that you shine brighter than anyone does.