There’s just something about tonight. I am not quite sure what it is as nothing special in particular happened today. Only the same routine of me getting up early to go to work, read e-mails and answer inquiries made by clients at work, eat my meals and then take a long trip to home. Perhaps it’s an epiphany of sorts but I can’t really trust myself to go with that word to describe what actually brought me here.
Tonight I feel inspired. Tonight I feel alive as if I have long been a corpse just waiting to be reanimated by a spark or a surging heatwave, as if all this time I’ve been letting the currents of monotony carry me along them. It’s moments like this that I would like to picture into beautiful words but I just can’t for the fear of ruining its beauty in my mind. Still I try.
I have long been a shell but there’s something about tonight that made me feel I want to open doors. There’s something about tonight that makes me want to open up my heart and put it in my sleeve. Somehow I find myself wanting to let my guard down even for a while just so I don’t miss my moment and I’m still hoping I won’t miss that moment.
I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to resist. I want to feel that happiness, that joy, that awe every time I see the beauty of the world and the wonder it leaves whenever I am reminded that I am here to appreciate all of its phenomena.
They say happiness is a choice and right now there’s nothing else I would rather be but be happy. I’ll let it envelop me like the love that’s been attempting to flow right out of me. I just have so much love and affection in my heart that I want to give out anywhere I can and I just have the happiness and smiles that need to be shared to those in dire need of them.
And so I am here ready to open up to the world again. I am here ready to share the happiness. I am here, ready to love and share that love again. 🙂