They say happiness is a choice. But sometimes there are people like me who tend to gravitate to a certain kind of sadness—one that can’t clearly be explained but just felt. In moments like this, it is important to not let the sadness eat you up; to be able to rise above it with your head held high.
I was in a rut for a while. I was sad and lonely. I didn’t even know why I felt the way I felt but I did. Everyday felt like a fruitless search for something even though I had no idea what exactly I was looking for. I finally reached my saturation point and I realized I couldn’t keep going on like this.
Despite my self-deprecating nature, every day I try to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself I’m pretty. Every day, I try to tell myself I am worth it and that I am good enough. Every day I wake up and smile because it’s another day I get to live.
So to those of you who know what it feels like to not feel good enough, to not feel safe in your own skin, you’ll get through this. Believe that you can and you will. Let’s work on it together and rise above everything else.
I became a fan of Zachary Levi back in 2010 after I watched Disney’s Tangled and fell in love with Flynn Rider and his voice. It was only then that I got introduced to the TV Series Chuck which since then had become such a relevant part of my life.
I became so passionate about the series that I met some awesome friends when I decided to join The Nerd Machine, a community that Zac founded back in 2010 to spread the “nerd” culture where people can discuss about different stuff such as hobbies, films, TV series, etc. that they are passionate about.
I’ve been around the fandom when they had the first Nerd HQ.
Nerd HQ is an annual event that is usually held the same weekend as the San Diego Comic Con. I remember doing Google Hangouts with some of the friends I’ve made at The Nerd Machine weeks before the event that I pretty much wished I could go and meet all of them and have fun. It’s an event where nerds could go meet and have intimate interactions with celebrities who support The Nerd Machine. Apart from that the activities also benefit Operation Smile, a charitable organization that helps children around the world who have cleft lip, cleft palate, and other facial deformities get the help that they need.
Being such a big event, the venue, staging, audio, production crew, event, lighting, staff, and activations entail A LOT of money. Of course they have sponsors, but sponsors usually provide the money close to the actual event date and securing venues and paying the production crews have to be paid in advance.
So for the last three years, Zac put his own money into producing the event and end up reimbursing himself once the sponsorship dollars come in. It worked for a while but it was a struggle to make Nerd HQ work last year.
This year Zac is asking for everyone’s help to support the crowd funding to raise a million dollars for this year’s Nerd HQ. I haven’t directly experienced this event nor have I been able to join my friends in the parties and photobooths that I see them join every year but I belive in this. I believe in being passionate about something and getting on your feet to show how much you are passionate about that something. I believe in giving back to something that has given you so much inspiration to come out of your shell and be comfortable in your own skin and be proud of all your quirks.
It’s something I learned from Chris—when you take something, you have to give. You can’t just take and take without giving back, otherwise there will come a point that it will cease to exist if you’ve been greedy enough.
Zac isn’t asking for much. Giving even just five dollars is enough. Spreading the word about the campaign is enough. Which is why I am here telling everyone that I am passionate about this, that I believe in this, and that I want to help.
#IWantMyNerdHQ 2014.
For more information, you can watch the video below or visit to iwantmynerdhq.com
When 2014 kicked in, I resolved to putting an effort to always look good when I go to work. I work the night shift and you’re probably saying, “What’s the point? Nobody would probably care about how you would look anyway,” but after feeling like shit when 2013 ended, I decided it’s time to actually stop feeling and looking like crap and start to find my own beauty.
Since January, I’ve been giving myself enough time to fix my hair and put on some light makeup before going to work. Sometimes it takes a while for me to find something nice to wear that I end up turning my closet upside down. It takes a lot of effort from what I’ve been used to but it’s an effort that’s actually been well received. I started to feel a bit good about myself especially when I get some compliments here and there.
Truth be told, I am not used to getting compliments. There was actually a point in my life when I felt like no one would notice me, really; that I’m just a fly on the wall. It’s this self-deprecating feeling that gets to me sometimes. It’s a feeling I struggle to fight—to feel invisible, not good enough—but lately I’ve been getting by.
If you’ve read my previous post, I’m experiencing what a friend pointed out to me as probably a quarter-life crisis. It’s not nice to feel lost and have no sense of direction of where you want to go and where you are actually headed. Fortunately, despite that “crisis”, I still am alive and kicking and am pushing through with my resolution.
I’ve always been a skinny kid. Up until my third year in college, people would tell me how skinny I am, etc. I never imagined myself getting fat since I got used to being regarded as skinny but after I got rid of all the stress that’s been keeping me from keeping myself “healthy”, I started to gain weight. I remember a friend’s ex casually told her that I’m starting to get some ass (and nope, they didn’t break up because of that lol.)
After graduation, I pretty much bummed myself out at home. I didn’t go out and I didn’t have any form of physical activity to keep myself in shape, so the weight I’ve gained that made me look more healthy started to become excess fats. Even when I started working, I didn’t have much of a physical activity since my work pretty much comprised of me sitting in front of the computer all day and code. I was lazy to actually do something about it up until I decided I couldn’t take it anymore.
I started hating my belly fats. And my flabby arms. I hated that I pant after a short walk because I felt heavy. And lately, I hate the excess fats because I can’t wear some of the clothes I would want to wear.
So three or four weeks ago, I said to myself, “If I actually want to feel and look good, I must put more effort into it and do something about these excess fats.”
I live two hours away from the city so four hours of my day is actually spent on my daily commute to work. I have no time and money to go to the gym so I decided to go back to bellydancing. It’s something I’ve actually done before but I wasn’t really disciplined enough to do it regularly.
Lately I’ve been doing these three routines:
Arms & Abs
Hips, Buns & Thighs
Fat Burning
Each routine is approximately thirty minutes long. I usually do all three routines during Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. For the rest of the days of the week, I do at most two routines but I make the Arms & Abs a daily routine.
I’m already three or four weeks in and I’ve already seen some improvement. Take this photo for example:
Pictured on the right is a photo of me last June 2013. On the left is a photo I took last week wearing the same Minnie Mouse top. It probably doesn’t look much different but I am starting to lose the flab on my arms.
Here is a photo of myself before and after I’ve finished the three bellydance routines today:
I still need to work on my lower abs but I’m happy to see that I am getting there. 😉
Apart from exercising regularly, I’ve also been cutting down my carb intake. I used to eat a lot of rice, pasta, and fries. Now I only eat them in moderation. I’ve also been craving for some veggies which is actually a good thing since I don’t usually eat vegetables.
Going back to bellydancing is one of the best decisions I have made for this year. Aside from getting back in shape, it’s not completely strenuous, I can do it at home, it doesn’t consume much of my time, and it’s cheap! I can’t wait to be fit and lean again!
What about you, how do you keep yourself in shape? Any tips? You can share them by leaving a comment below or sending a message via my contact form.
I used to be such a believer of love and all its glory. I could take happiness in reading contemporary romance and watching chick flicks but lately it seems as if all my romance mojo is gone. I still get the kilig feeling every now and then but I can’t deny the fact that something has changed within me that has got me acting like a cynic for the past couple of weeks or months.
Maybe I’ve just been burned out. IDK really but maybe I have. I just wish I could get out of this funk, you know? You don’t know how many times I have tried to actually post something new in this blog but I just haven’t been feeling it and what’s sad is that sometimes I think that I’m actually not feeling anything; as if I’ve completely shut down and shut the world out. It totally sucks.
